Nefarious Island
by Crabb90
Summary: When the Nefarious Fauxpod crew decides to take a trip to Australia, they have no idea what's in for them when their plane crashes in the Pacific they are marooned on a tropical island.      Parody of Lost.
1. Chapter 1

3

Dylan Crabb

Nefarious Fauxpod Fan-Fiction (Lost Parody)

March 19, 2010

**The Island**

May 15, 2010, 8:12 am

The computer screen flickered on. The mouse moved to the Firefox icon, which animated and opened a new browser window. The mouse highlighted the URL and it was deleted. A new URL was typed in: .com/user/nanalew. The page appeared with a video at the front, which revealed a very attractive brunette girl of approximately 19 (or at least that's the age she looked). The video played and tears dripped on the keyboard. ''Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are now ready for take-off and all electronic devices must turned off at this time.''

Shawna closed her MacBook and placed it under her seat, wiping her eyes.

I'm so talented, she said to herself.

The plane began speeding up on the runway until it lifted up into the air climbing to 35,000 feet.

10:38 am

''Adam, would you stop?'' Shawna yelled. ''Your such a pig!''

''Aw, come on, Shawna. It's still at least an hour to Sydney. Just for a few minutes?''

''Those few minutes would like an hour in Hell, Adam. Now, let go of me!''

A flight attendant came by. ''Is there a problem here?''

Adam quickly took his arm away from Shawna. ''No problem.''

The attendant walked away and Adam immediately put his arm around Shawna again.

Shawna sighed. ''I can't believe we're friends.''

11:07 am

The plane jerked a few times, was calm, then jerked more violently. Shawna noticed the seatbelt light go on above her. Then the captain spoke through the intercom.

''Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Just letting you know that we're gonna go through a rough spot so just sit tight and it will be over really quick.''

A moment passed and the rough bouncing increased. Shawna was literally jumping out of her seat.

There was a loud _bang_ to Shawna's left. She looked out her window to see one of the turbines in flames. The plane began loosing altitude rapidly; everyone was screaming at this point.

Shawna looked around the passengers and just saw panic all around. She looked out her window again and saw the ocean getting closer and closer until water finally splashed across he side of the plane.

Jake got up out of the seat next to her and unhooked his seat cushion (which doubled as a flotation device).

He motioned to his friends and ran down the walkway. ''Come on!''

Shawna, Adam, and Zach all unhooked their seat cushions and followed Jake to an emergency door. There was a kit hanging next to it, which Jake slung over his shoulder. He then squeezed the red lever and tried to push the door open, but it wouldn't budge.

''Help me, Guys!'' he ordered and they leaned against the door. It was forced open and a jet of water rushed into the plane, knocking them back against the seats.

There was another _bang_ behind them and the plane was ripped in half. The four friends clapped their hands together so as to not separate and were pulled down deeper into the blue.

People were scrambling for the surface, kicking and paddling. Jake noticed a red tape on the emergency kit he had grabbed. He tugged on it and a raft inflated instantly, which pulled them toward the surface. Shawna, however, lost her grip and was left behind.

Jake, Adam, and Zach all came up in the inflatable raft but Jake dove back in and saw Shawna kicking for the surface. They locked hands and came up together where Adam grabbed them by the shirt collars and swung them into the dingy.

More and more people started to come up. A few people almost swamped the dingy, begging to get on, but it was barely staying afloat with four people.

11:42 am

They had hand-paddled the dingy to nearby island. Only a handful of other survivors had made it.

Jake was the first to get up. He dragged each of his friends farther on shore so the tide wouldn't bother them. He decided to let them rest as he looked around. He noticed two survivors fighting on the beach and went over to see what it was about.

''Hey, what's going on here?'' Jake asked.

''Go ahead!'' one of them yelled angrily. ''Tell him I crashed the plane, huh!'' He was dark skinned with a Middle-Eastern accent and long black hair.

The other guy turned to face Jake while pointing at the Middle-Eastern. ''This guy was sitting in the back of the plane the entire with a death grip on his bag! Tell me that doesn't suspicious!''

''The only thing it's suspicious of is you being a racist bastard!''

''Oh, shut up, Osama!''

''Hey!'' Jake stepped in. ''They're two ways this plays out. One, you can let it go and help us out until we're rescued. Even if he did cause the crash, what are you gonna do, kill him? Two, you can make some enemies right away and be shunned. What's it gonna be?''

The guy started laughing hysterically. ''Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood?''

He started walking away mocking Jake. ''What's it gonna be? Give me a break.''

Jake turned to the Middle-Eastern. ''You okay?''

''Yeah, just angry, I despise intolerant people. He extended his hand in a welcoming gesture. ''I'm Jer`ad, Jerad Hussein.''

Jake accepted the handshake. ''Jake Sidwell.''

12:28 pm

Shawna was already suffering from Internet withdrawal and she often handled it by reciting lines from random videos of hers on YouTube.

Adam hadn't hit on Shawna since the plane, which was very unusual for a wannabe ladies' man like him.

Zach was trying to make the situation a little lighter by cracking jokes but they weren't particularly good.

Jake was trying to help out survivors and make everything better.

_How will the Fauxpoders possibly survive this nightmare? Tune in next time for another exciting installment of The Island._

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

Dylan Crabb

Nefarious Fauxpod Fan-Fiction (Lost Parody)

Aug. 1, 2010

**The Island (Part 2)**

The Fauxpodders seemed to be adjusting to life on the island fairly well. They managed to find their luggage that had washed up on the beach; Shawna was weeping over the loss of her MacBook Pro and Jake was trying to fix his hair with the salt water.

Zach and Adam were currently in the nearby jungle looking for the captain. After about an hour of searching, Adam throws in the towel.

''Zach, just forget about it. The captain's probably dead already.''

''Even if he is, there's gotta be a radio transmitter or something in that cockpit.''

''No shit, Sherlock! But we must have covered over half the island by now.'' Adam continued to complain. ''We're not gonna find it!''

''If you want to go back, go ahead, but I'm gonna find that cockpit.''

Adam started back for the beach while Zach continued forward.

Back on the beach, Jake was trying to comfort Shawna.

''My whole life was on there, Jake!'' she sobbed. ''I can't live without it!''

''Shawna, don't you think you're being a little dramatic? It's just a computer.''

Shawna slapped Jake across the face. ''It's not _just_ a computer! It's my baby, and now…now it's dead!'' She sobbed again and laid her head on Jake's arm. Of course Adam chose that moment to walk by.

''Am I interrupting anything?'' he asked with a smirk.

Shawna lifted her head and wiped her eyes. ''Smartass.''

''Did you find the pilot?'' Jake asked.

Zak's still looking but I don't think he's gonna find anything.''

There was a loud roar from the jungle and everyone turned toward the trees.

''What the Hell is that?'' said Adam.

Something appeared to be pushing then trees out of the way as it moved and every few seconds it would let out a terrifying roar that would make a grizzly's spine shiver. It walked parallel to the beach for about a mile until it turned away from the beach and went deeper into the forest.

''Adam?'' Jake inquired.

''Yeah.''

''Do you know where Zak is exactly?''

''Yeah, why?"

''I want you to take me to him.''

''What?'' Adam was terrified. ''Jake, did you not just see that thing in the woods? It's huge!''

Jake grabbed Adam, threw in the sand, and pinned him under his arm. ''You were supposed to stay with Zak! We don't know anything about this place and it is critical to stay together. We're both going into the jungle right now to find him.''

''Alright, alright!'' Adam's hand went to his newly sore throat as Jake got off him. ''What about Shawna?''

''She'll be fine with the others on the beach.'' Jake replied.

''I'm coming with you.'' said Jer'ad. ''You'll need all the help you can get.''

As the three of them headed into the jungle, Shawna decided to do a little looking around.

The other survivors were busy setting up small, make-shift shelters and gathering firewood for the signal fire that they recently ignited. There was a curious Asian couple away from the group that seemed to be keeping to themselves. There was a more extravagant shelter at the peak of a short incline on the southern end of the beach. The creator had not only used plastic tarps for the walls and ceiling but also large branches from the local trees for extra shade. He had also molded in a way for the morning dew to drip into a placement of plastic cups.

''You admiring my digs, Sweetie?'' the blondie yelled at Shawna as she came closer.

''Did you do all this yourself?'' she asked.

''Yeah, my daddy worked in construction, so he showed me a thing or two.'' He had a slight southern accent.

Shawna noticed that the inside of the tent was fairly cluttered. ''What is all this stuff?''

''My loot, you'd be surprised how much people bring on a plane.''

''Did you make a habit of looting the dead back home?''

''Hey, Girl, think of it this way. The dead don't need these things anymore. Besides, we have to survive here and I'm doing all I can to increase my odds.''

Someone came over to the tent. He looked real worried.

''Hey, can you guys help me out?''

''What do you need?'' the southern man asked him.

''I'm looking for any drugs that may have been on the plane especially any prescriptions that end in '-liacin' and '-cylin', those are antibiotics.''

''Are you a doctor?'' Shawna asked.

''Yeah, and I'm trying to save a life.''

The southern man tossed the doctor a small bag. ''That's all the medicine I found.''

The doctor inspected the bag and seemed surprised. ''This…This is my bag! Where'd you find it?''

The southern man pointed over at a large section of the plane a cylinder piece of metal with what looked like seats upside down on the top part.

''Right in there, just a small warning if you have weak stomach, there's a lot of bodies inside. But, I guess doctors are used to that sort of thing.''

''Thanks, My name's John, by the way. My tent's right there if you need me.'' He pointed to a tent about thirty yards away with two short trees on either side of it.

As he walked away, the southern man yelled out his name. ''I'm James!'' John acknowledged it with a wave of his hand and.

''I didn't catch your name, Doll.'' James said in a flirty kind of tone.

''I didn't give it.'' Shawna replied with a smile.


End file.
